Its been far too long since I've written last. I think I may start writing again. Its a worthy endeavor of my time. If for nothing more than spilling my own ideas, opinions, and monologues in one place.
Speaking of opinions, opine is such a funny word. When one opines, its basically stating the obvious. "I think we should go to that park (as opposed to a different one)." He clearly was offering up his own thoughts on the matter, why does it need to be stated in action form? While opining is all well and good for verbage in a book, I'd hardly use this word in everyday conversation.
"Lets opine about the subject." Really?
That just sounds bizarre, why not just share opinions, its much less awkward and saves people the trouble of trying use a verb when a noun is much more acceptable.
I was sitting in a meeting with some of the department heads when I worked in corporate America (Goldman Sachs for the overly curious). Im sure you can imagine the meeting to which Im referring.
A rather stale power-point presentation with exhaustive hand-outs that add to the redundancy of the subject matter. All attendees sit in overly comfortable swivel chairs in stuffy button-up suits and ties seated around a boardroom table where the air is uncomfortably cold in hopes to deter those present from falling asleep. As the last few minutes wane toward the proverbial end and all eyes are glossed over, trying discretely to look at the clock wishing the minutes would pass more quickly, no one dares to look uninterested for fear that the important presenter get the wrong impression. Although, the meeting would have captured the same potency by sending an email. Its a colorful dance full of strutting and posturing for the purpose of promotion.
Im glad to be rid of the entire environment. But it was at one such meeting, one of my first actually, toward the end, that I heard this awkward phrase. Dont mistake me, I had READ the word opine many times in reading and found it odd. But hearing it spoken was all the more awkward. The meeting was coming to a close and right about the time that I glance a the clock, I hear it.
"Well, I feel the meeting covered all the major points that needed to be discussed. Any questions?" (of course silence).
"ok. Lets opine together at a later time about some of these things."
I was jarred from my mental drool momentarily. "err? Opine? Why does that sound so awkward."
I had stepped into a world steeped in Colloquialism and exclusive vernacular. This wasn't the last time I would hear that word again. Another oddity oft quoted in this business environment is "reach out".
"Please reach out to me with any questions." An email would read. Reach out? It makes it sound like I should walk up creepily and tap someone on the shoulder offering my hand outstretched for some unseen handout.
If this was the extent of this ridiculous office language, the humor would stand alone.
But there's so much more. For instance, many common nouns are now fair game for creating verbs.
In school or on the street, kids often use the noun "school" and turn it into cool phrase where someone bests another. "Yeah man, you got 'schooled'. This rather obnoxious use of the word isnt far from extinction in the work place either, only the grammatical application has taken on a much more sophisticated use. Take the word action for instance. Its no longer just a noun, such as performing an action, where the verb is to perform. Action is now its own verb. "Please action the task I gave You." It not only can be a verb in the present tense, but it spans across past and future tense. But because we're all wearing suits and speaking in a formal manner, its all very acceptable speech.
Throw out all those childhood grammar lessons from elementary school, we create our own language in the corporate jungle. I hope you all "actioned" this blog by adding a comment or two.
